Lesson Two: Say What You Need to Say

Good morning ladies and gentlemen,

This post may be difficult to put in to accurate enough words, but I will do my best for I hear the narrator's voice inside my head. When he speaks I write, and maybe you'll read.


This morning as I prepared to leave for work, my wife had fallen asleep with the television on VH1, and the station was actually playing music videos, a rarity in these days of CelebReality and shows geared toward adolescents. The particular video playing was a soundtrack album from John Mayer for the movie The Bucket List and its title was "Say What You Need to Say." The song, in conjunction with the video snippits from the movie, was very moving emotionally for me. I was so moved I was reluctant to leave for work, feeling that moment of "this could be the last time you see them, you never know." I actually teared up, looked at each of my family members before leaving, and headed to work.

So here's the lesson of Spring number two: "Say What You Need to Say." Don't wait until you are on your deathbed to tell those people you love, to do those things you have always wanted to do.
You may not have a bed upon which to ponder these things as death approaches, it could be a car, a plane crash, a heart attack, or countless other forms. Death is usually not merciful in this regard, so the time is always now to act, to speak, to write.

To my wife: If I am not here tomorrow I want you to know how much joy you have given me in my lifetime. The wonderful nights of intimacy, the laughter at bad jokes, the amazement of our lives transformed in just a few short years, the support, the love you have given me, and how open you have made me to the world and to life. " I love you" does not sum up the feelings in my heart, but it will have to do. I love you...now and always.


To Nicolas:

I really cannot express how much I am proud of you and love you. You are so loving and intelligent, playful and creative, and tough in handling the tough parenting I have given you. I want you to remember that I do this b/c of the potential I see in you, and want that potential to be more than that. Always challenge yourself to be better than you are, to be a guide to your brother, and to remember that family is always the most important priority in life. Protect them fiercely, and love them openly. Remember I love you, no matter how tough on you I have been in the past.

There are lots of cliched sayings I could write here on life.....but there's only one I'll share. I pray that always remember the face of your father. Remember it well.

To Noah:

Son, if I dont live another day I will still cherish every moment I have had you in my life. In just four months you made made me understand the complexity of the parenting life and the joys of being a father to a newborn. I was your constant source of entertainment with all of my silly faces, the funny noises, and the constant motion I had you in. The first moment I looked in your eyes, you looked back at me......and stopped crying in the delivery room. I touched on your chest and stomach, and you were calm despite having been literally thrust into this world. I'll never forget that moment. It is one of my fondest memories and I will take it with me to the grave.
Love your family, live life to the fullest, work hard for what you want....and remember to pick yourself up when life knocks you down.

I love you so much.


I have now said what needs to be said, and if life ends right now....I am content with what is written here. I love my family, always will, and hope that I have been, and will continue to be, the best husband and father I can.

Having read this novella, what will you do? Will you continue on without having said those things of importance to those you love? Or will you act on this, be moved as I was moved by the song, and act?

That of course is you to decide dear reader...choose well.



Stevan